Why do I even try?

I'm kinda feelin' a lot like the Apostle Paul when he said "...what I hate, that I do."
For the last couple of months I've been stuck in a rutt, unengaged with life, either sittin' on my butt at home on the internet or lookin' of a job; and failing to ever hear back. I see lots of opportunities, but I just can't seem to land anything (for very long, if at all). Even when I get a lead on a job and try to follow up on it, I botch it horribly, even when I plan ahead. What makes it worse? I make the most obvious mistakes like a wrong turn. I feel like an idiot, I can't do a thing right, even when I do everything according to plan.

Am I a failure? Why do I even continue on with this life? What's the point?

Why don't you just give up on me, God? What do you see in me?
I know you have a plan for my life and I know you have a destiny laid out for me and I know why you sent your son. I just don't know why I keep screwing up so bad lately. I haven't listened to you very well and so far I've botched every job opportunity I've pursued. I know you have great plans for me and I've got big dreams of my own, but it seems like every step I take just digs me further into this hole of failure I've been digging lately. Oh, despicable me!

Why do I even try?

God, I can't do this on my own, the only thing I seem to be good at is botching my opportunities and wasting time. You're the only hope I have left right now. You know me better than I know myself, you see everything I do, everytime I've screwed it up, everytime I've failed at even the simplest tasks. Speak to me, if you really care. Show me your face, reveal to me your true plan. Show me what to do. I can't do this without you.